i'm working on coming back, at count, right now i have 2,351 messages, and 17 more notes left. i'm working on getting back to the swing of things here, but i admit i'm a bit bogged down by all the massive amount of things. so i will probably reply to as much as i can, before clearing out my inbox. SOO,. if you had some question, or needed a response from me about something in particular and i miss you, feel free to note me, as i will only be deleting comments and notification biz,. i just don't think ill get back to zero if i don't clear everything out from my absence >.<
mmm,. other words,. ive been getting back into arting, i have not drawn nearly at all since i started babysitting my little siblings in august, basically having become fulltime parent of them until nearly december. im missing them terribly now that i am not around them, and its led me to becoming a pokemon master again in pokemon X with my full boxes again,. im glad to be drawing. nothing is like dragging lines on paper, though ive been wanting to do large paintings and such. ive posted pictures of the mural ive been working on with my friends mom.. else wise i literally only took out my drawing paper around monday, warmed up with some pokemon.
helhund news: i want to get things running for you guys again, however, i need to get the little bits consolidated so that it will go smoothly. i can promise a one illustration event, but nothing else for a little, while i work on some other art. Helhund contests from this prior year, im going to consolidate your everything, and give you all the promised things i owe ya, yall are the exception.
other art, i shall be posting more of, while i work on important life things.
MY JOURNEY THIS YEAR
lets see,. i really hate always having fluctuating correspondence with you all on here, as Deviantart is truly the most impressive place on the internet for me. i desire to continue working on my art, having been humbled and inspired by my recent year of change. i set out as of chinese new year last jan, and set out to make beneficial, if not at least an upheaval of the existence i had been living. i left the house that i had established with artists, that turned into lazy scammers all feeding off of a good thing. that is not to say that i do not still appreciate the possibility of community creating and making projects with people. i have simply learned that sometimes thrusts must be enforced if initiative is lost. mm,. i went on traeling adventures for the majority of feb through april, which ended in heartache, and the end of a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. after this there is complication love story that i could not divulge in this place lest words bely the reality, and becoming cliches. Traveled to vegas, where i guess that vagueness explains itself, what happens in vegas,.. returning, more traveling adventures, this time alone for the first time, from about jun til aug. the countryside of washington state was my companion, even my beloved canine was left behind. ( i eventually found her a home at my family property, and she has become fat, furry and happy, though i miss her with my whole heart. ) august i was re united with my husband (long story, we never dated, only married, mock marriage,. blah,. my life is a joke in paraphrase..) I had decided to seek out Michael the Archangel, i would visit churches and such, but because of hangups i found myself waylayed. we traveled for some filming for august before our world was rocked by some severe tragedy. within the next 30 days three of our very close friends will die. suicide by gun. accidental suicide by gun. and fatal car wreck. i had finally found the arcangel. all under circumstances that, in my more grievous moments, was reminded by friends that in the house i kept with those people in the past year, was a haven for at least two of them of a place where guns arent toys, and everyone is reminded how much we love them. im torn, and broken, and confused. things that occur we are told. speaking at funerals, and enduring their loss is all we can do else wise. in the wake of this, the mass of the community of friends rediscovered a little more compassion without the 'house rules' imposing it. unfortunate. people need to love eachother, and we are capable. with this my husband and i took on the responsibility and the joy for me, of taking care of my siblings in the shadow of my beast of a matriarch. transforming three intelligent 9-6 yr old kids from soda addicted, black eye, and bloody fighting and screaming neglected kids, into the loved, and smart conscience kids they were always able to be. suddenly teachers arent worried about the kids that like when i was growing up under such, were so ill equip for society that they werent able to ride the bus. this is what absent parenting does to people, i wont go into this here. but i will say that we need to change the way the world tends to the children. we watched these guys from aug til nov, until i was so emotionally wrought, that my mom had succumb to berating me in front of the kids so terribly, that i couldnt stand having them hear it anymore. let alone hearing the worst things you can imagine said to you, that are neither true, and stinking mad. words do not describe the tsunami that are the feels i have revolved around my family. when blood is thicker than water, idk. i digress. dec we watched the kids again, after being coerced and tricked into such under the pretense of a 'sick' relative. which ended up turning into more psychological manipulation, also a puppy. my heart was stone for a minute. near the first week of january. sometimes i just cant believe such things are possible, and thats why ;keep letting them do this; as my less sympathetic friends say. Nearing here the end of january was the anniversary of my year of the snake decisions for change. i resolved to contemplate all that has happened, and you know what, im happy, despite all, ive moved myself literally, and figuratively from living in darkness, to feeling the light. i was deprived of my creative powers for a spell living with family, i lost friends in more ways than death through my choices, and learned that not all losses should be mourned. i found something i realized i had been seeking all along. this year of the horse, i hope to rediscover my legs that i sacrificed for transformation last year, and surmount some creation.
and i guess,. here we are,. i still am working on establishing my own place while staying with a friend, and looking through my art box and stacks of binders that have been locked away in my trunk since sealed there in august.
love you guys, i dont know what else to say, if you read all that wow,. and thanks for listening. i love you all, this probably is the most vague not detailing of events ever,. >.< but thats why you follow my art, ill tell you all about it in color soon.